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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26920513">still caught in your gravity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr'>emmerrr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Making Up, Mild Angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26920513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He never wanted to be this person, obsessively checking his phone every five minutes. It’s the damn phone’s fault, anyway. Fights don’t get solved over the phone, the distance makes it too difficult to know just how far to push, when it’s best to let it go. Making up is so much better in person.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>still caught in your gravity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It goes like this:</p><p>There’s a week of nothing but scattered text messages. Then Adam misses a call from Ronan, and Ronan misses Adam’s returned call. Ronan calls back but Adam can only talk for a minute because he’s on his way to class and will call back later. Ronan accidentally leaves his phone inside while he’s out in one of the barns so misses <em>this </em>call. There’s an angry voicemail from Adam waiting for him, and Ronan calls him back just as angrily. There’s a blazing row, born out of care and frustration and exhaustion. Both hang up, still angry. Still sad.</p><p>And now it’s been a whole day since they’ve spoken; no texts, no nothing. Ronan’s anger has dissipated almost completely but his stubbornness remains. Why should <em>he </em>reach out first, why can’t <em>Adam </em>do it. Isn’t he just as to blame as Ronan? </p><p>He never wanted to be this person, obsessively checking his phone every five minutes. It’s the damn phone’s fault, anyway. Fights don’t get solved over the phone, the distance makes it too difficult to know just how far to push, when it’s best to let it go. Making up is so much better in person.</p><p>The sun’s starting to set now, the sky turning a pinky orange that Ronan might have appreciated under different circumstances. He’s all restless energy and pent up emotion, and all he wants to do is drive or see Adam, and fuck it, he can do <em>both.</em></p><p>Without giving himself time to rethink, he pulls on his boots and grabs his keys. He flings the door open, and there’s an extra, all too familiar car in his driveway. He steps out, and Adam is here, climbing the porch steps. Ronan was so distracted he hadn’t even heard him pull up.</p><p>He doesn’t even have time to be surprised that Adam is here, because — looking monumentally pissed off, but without even hesitating — he throws his arms around Ronan’s neck. </p><p>“I hate fighting with you. I hate it <em>so</em> <em>much.”</em></p><p>“No you don’t,” Ronan argues, but his arms curl around Adam automatically, holding him tightly. He almost feels like if he so much as breathes wrong, Adam will disappear. “It’s one of your top ten favourite things to do.”</p><p>Adam’s laugh is a strangled, glorious thing. “Fuck you. You’re the <em>worst.”</em></p><p>“I—” Ronan starts, but he can’t find the words for another shitty retort. He sighs, with relief and comfort and so much love, and he turns his face into Adam’s neck, breathing him in.</p><p>They sway, standing in the doorway, until eventually, wordlessly, they drift inside, locking out the setting sun.</p><p>Later, when Adam has showered and eaten, they set up camp in Ronan’s room. There’s piles of soft blankets and pillows, dream lights covering the place in a soft glow, and a music box which plays all of Adam’s favourite songs.</p><p>“That’s new,” Adam remarks.</p><p>“It’s for you,” Ronan says, nuzzling his shoulder.</p><p>Adam smiles. “I figured.”</p><p>The reason for Adam’s impromptu visit hangs unspoken in the air, an uninvited guest that neither of them want to acknowledge. So they ignore it as best they can for a while, staying wrapped up in each other, saying little, then saying less, until finally they lie there side by side, gazing at each other.</p><p>Adam’s eyes droop a couple of times, but he indignantly forces them back open. Ronan gently strokes his cheek with the back of his hand. “Sleep.”</p><p>Adam shakes his head. “I don’t want to miss anything. We have so little time.”</p><p>And there it is; reality, kicking down the door. </p><p>“When do you need to be back?”</p><p>“Technically?” Adam shrugs. “Tomorrow. But it’s a bit late for that, even if I left now, and I’m too tired to drive. I’ll leave tomorrow evening instead so I’ll get back in enough time for a couple hours of sleep before my Friday classes.”</p><p>Two sides war within Ronan. The much larger side is elated that he has tonight and most of tomorrow with Adam. But the smaller, annoyingly persistent side, doesn’t want to be a distraction to Adam and his lofty academic goals.</p><p>“You’re not supposed to cut school for me,” he says quietly.</p><p>“I’m not here for you, I’m here for <em>me,”</em> Adam replies, then rolls his eyes mightily. “Also, you are the last person, like, on <em>earth</em>, who gets to lecture me about cutting school.”</p><p>“I’m not fucking <em>lecturing, </em>Parrish, I’m just saying—”</p><p>“Well <em>don’t.”</em></p><p>Ronan exhales roughly and rolls over onto his back to face the ceiling instead. “Whatever.”</p><p>A brittle silence settles, and Ronan isn’t going to be the one to break it. He doesn’t trust himself to speak; he just keeps getting it <em>wrong.</em></p><p>“I’ll make some tea,” Adam says eventually, and quietly leaves the room.</p><p>By the time he returns, Ronan is sitting up and leaning against the headboard of his bed. He takes the tea Adam hands him with a nod of thanks, but puts it straight down on the bedside table.</p><p>Adam takes his time settling in, sitting cross-legged beside Ronan but turned towards him. He sits there, warming his hands with the mug of tea cupped between them. He looks down, his eyes distant, and he’s still for just long enough that Ronan almost thinks he’s scrying. But then he lifts his head up and catches Ronan’s eye at last.</p><p>“You look tired,” Ronan says redundantly.</p><p>“I <em>am </em>tired,” Adam replies with a half-hearted laugh. It fades quickly and his expression turns sombre, and Ronan knows they’re finally going to address the elephant in the room. “Did you ever think it would be this hard?”</p><p>‘This’ doesn’t need to be specified. “Honestly? Yes.”</p><p>Adam sighs. “I thought I did. But I didn’t. Not really.”</p><p>Ronan tries at humour, lightly nudging Adam’s knee with his foot. “Didn’t think you’d miss me? I see how it is.”</p><p>Adam doesn’t bite. “I knew I would miss you. I knew not seeing you every day would be painful. I just thought I’d be able to bear it better.”</p><p>“You bear it just fine.”</p><p>Adam shoots him a flat look. “I showed up here out of the blue because of a stupid fight that could have been solved with a phonecall.”</p><p>“A phonecall <em>caused </em>the stupid fight.”</p><p>“You know what I mean.”</p><p>He sounds so frustrated that Ronan almost doesn’t want to push, but he does anyway, because that’s what he does. He nudges Adam’s knee again. “Come on then, Einstein, what’s the solution?”</p><p>Adam shrugs expansively. “To <em>what? </em>To me not being pathetic enough to come running here every time I miss you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Ronan says, “that’s the one.”</p><p>Adam scowls but says nothing. He downs what’s left of his tea and sets the mug aside. Ronan’s remains untouched where he left it.</p><p>“What happens,” Adam says carefully, “if it all gets too much?”</p><p>Ronan’s heart lurches. “If <em>what </em>all gets too much?”</p><p>“The distance, Ronan.” He sounds so miserable that Ronan can’t bear it; he takes Adam’s hand and tugs. Adam needs little prompting and crawls into Ronan’s lap. He rests his cheek against Ronan’s collarbone, and for a moment they just sit there, bundled together. Adam’s heart is beating just a little too fast.</p><p>“It’s already too much,” Ronan says at last, because it’s true. “It’s already too <em>hard.</em> But I don’t care. I’ll deal with it, because it means I get to be with you.”</p><p>Adam sniffs. Ronan can’t quite see his face, but he doesn’t think he’s crying. He just thinks he’s being dramatic.</p><p>“Because you love me?”</p><p>“Because I love you,” Ronan nods. “I thought that was implicit.”</p><p>“I was making it <em>ex</em>plicit.”</p><p>Adam’s heart rate is returning to a steadier beat, so Ronan doesn’t reply yet. He just holds him, rocks him a little. Eventually, Adam does a deep, slow inhale and exhale.</p><p>“What about you then?” Ronan asks, hoping his voice doesn’t shake. “Do you think you’d ever reach a point where it was too hard to do this with me anymore?”</p><p>Adam burrows closer. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t even want to try.”</p><p>“...But?” Ronan says, because he can sense it even if it hasn’t been said aloud.</p><p>Adam sighs and leans back enough so they can see each other face to face. “I just don’t want you to ever feel beholden to things you said to me at eighteen fucking years old.”</p><p>This is a nonsensical train of thought to Ronan, but Adam is upset so he’ll play along. He half shrugs. “Do you think I don’t mean the things I say to you?”</p><p>“I <em>know </em>you mean them.”</p><p>“Okay. Do you mean all the sappy shit you say to me?”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Adam glowers. “Yes.”</p><p>“Then that’s all we fucking need, man. I dunno what to tell you.”</p><p>“Tell me it’ll be okay.”</p><p>“It’ll be okay.”</p><p>Adam watches him, studies his expression. He traces Ronan’s left eyebrow with his thumb, then he leans in and kisses Ronan; just softly, just quickly. “I believe you.”</p><p>Ronan eases Adam back until they’re both lying down and wraps an arm around his waist, twining their legs together. It’s weirdly gratifying that Adam’s struggling with the distance too, but at the same time, Ronan doesn’t want this to become a routine.</p><p>“You can’t make a habit of this,” he whispers into the space between them, cushioning the words with a kiss to Adam’s cheek. “You can’t skip classes for me.”</p><p>“I know,” Adam says, poking at the dimple in Ronan’s chin. “Don’t worry, my attendance is perfect so far, Gillian will get me notes for what I miss tomorrow. It’s one day.”</p><p>“One day is how it starts.”</p><p>Adam shrugs, looking sheepish. “I don’t <em>want </em>to keep doing this. And it’s not like I’m not enjoying myself because I <em>am. </em>But I have the shitbox, which makes it really hard when missing you becomes all I can think about. There’s nothing to stop me from just driving right to you.”</p><p>“Well you still have to pay for gas, so there’s one deterrent. I can drive to you a lot faster and with like no notice, so there’s that. And how about this, if you’re ever having such a shit time that you want to come home, just tell yourself you can come at the weekend. It’ll give you something to look forward to, and then you might feel better by the time the weekend comes anyway and not need to.”</p><p>“Huh. You’re pretty smart, you know that?”</p><p>Ronan smiles wryly. “The smartest highschool dropout of Aglionby Academy.”</p><p>Adam shoves him lightly. “Stop that. Give yourself more credit. But anyway, yes, all of that is good advice. And in the meantime I can try and not argue with you over the phone.”</p><p>“Miracles <em>do </em>happen, I guess.”</p><p>Adam laughs. <em>“Hey.”</em></p><p>Ronan breathes easier. The difficult conversation is over, and if this was their first long-distance hurdle, he’s pretty sure they’ve cleared it. Adam leaves tomorrow, the clock already ticking down, and Ronan knows the kind of heartache he’s in for once he’s gone.</p><p>But Adam’s here now, when he wasn’t supposed to be. This time is a gift, and Ronan isn’t going to waste it.</p><p>He hugs Adam close, showers his face with kisses until Adam is giggling and breathless.</p><p>“Y’know,” he says, “I honestly thought I’d be the one more likely to have to drive a million miles to apologise to you instead of the other way around.”</p><p>Adam rolls his eyes. “Can’t say I remember apologising, Lynch.”</p><p>“It was implied.”</p><p>“It <em>was</em> <em>not. </em>And anyway, I saw those car keys in your hand when you opened the door. Bet you were coming to see me.”</p><p>Ronan grins. “Ah, but Parrish, you can’t prove that. And I’ll never tell.”</p><p>“You don’t need to.” Adam leans forward, nuzzling into Ronan’s neck. He’ll fall asleep like that; he’s done it before. “I know you, Ronan.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Ronan says around a yawn. “Likewise.”</p><p>“Nope. I’m unknowable.”</p><p>“You <em>wish </em>you were unknowable.”</p><p>“Shhhh, it’s time to sleep, shut up,” Adam mumbles, then immediately affects snoring. He’s not fooling Ronan, but he’s had a long day, so he can have the last word. At least for now.</p><p>Soon, Adam’s breathing evens out. Ronan kisses his forehead, then rolls over to sleep. Adam clutches him unconsciously, huddling closely to his back. Ronan smiles; he’d not been expecting to sleep tonight at all, instead spending it speeding his way towards Adam.</p><p>This is infinitely preferable.</p><p>He doesn’t think about tomorrow. Adam’s here now, and Ronan can finally sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yesterday i was sad and i was doing the dishes and then space by biffy clyro came on the radio and snippets of this fic just fell into my head so i had to write it. i hope you enjoyed! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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